Tag Archives: Junk Food Files

Hardee’s New York Patty Melt Burger of 1993

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Back in 1992, Hardee’s stumbled across a major hit when it introduced its now-iconic Frisco Burger.  They combined grilled sourdough bread (in a round slice) with a 1/4 lb burger patty, two slices of Swiss cheese, bacon, mayo, and tomatoes and turned them into a culinary masterpiece.  After strong sales upon release, they were looking to duplicate that success. Enter the New York Patty Melt. 

Introduced roughly 4 months after the launch of the Frisco burger, the New York Patty Melt was the heir apparent to their first hit.  Unfortunately, it was not to be. Sales of the Patty Melt didn’t come close to those of the Frisco burger, and it was dropped from the menu about 6 months after its introduction.  But man, that was a great six months. 

The New York Patty Melt borrowed from its famous Frisco cousin and used a regional favorite bread by using New York Rye.  Sliced the same way as the Frisco (round), it too was grilled and paired with a 1/4 lb beef patty. A layer of a melted cheese blend, crispy bacon, and soft grilled onions finished off this burger.  Like most kids, I wasn’t a big fan of onions, but on this burger, they fit right in. But for me, the real star of this taste sensation was the rye bread. I had never had it before, but this burger moved the bread up my list of favorites in a hurry. 

As is the case when doing a piece like this, I was quite disappointed when I went to order it one time only to be told that it was no longer available.  If my father hadn’t been standing there beside me, my fifteen-year-old self may have let out a string of curse words aimed in the cashier’s direction. Luckily, however, the Frisco Burger was still available, and it ranked pretty high on my list back then too.  But for me, the Frisco Burger was always the Sundance Kid to the New York Patty Melt’s Butch Cassidy.

KFC’s Chicken Littles Sandwiches of the ’80s

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Here I am featuring some old junk food in another edition of Retro Ramblings. I just can’t help it. Old junk food really tickles my nostalgia bone. And today’s topic is one of my all-time favorites from the past.

A couple of years ago, in the background, the TV was on and my daughters were watching some show that I usually care nothing about. The show went to commercial and I carried on with what I was doing. All of a sudden I was hit by a bolt of delicious lightning! For on the tv behind me, I was hearing a commercial for KFC’s return of the Chicken Little sandwiches!!! I bolted to the tv just to see and hear the end of that commercial that advertised the return of the greatest hand-held chicken sandwich in history. I immediately started making plans to visit my local KFC to once again dine on this fine treat. 

I was horribly disappointed when I unwrapped the precious sandwich that I had longed for many years. What is this? This isn’t a Chicken Little. What kind of sick joke are these people trying to pull here? 

You see, in the ’80s, when they were known as Kentucky Fried Chicken and not the metro-sounding KFC, they had the perfect sandwich. The original Chicken Little was the size of a common White Castle Slider or Krystal Burger. In fact, it featured the same kind of bun. It had a simple, thin chicken patty on it along with a pickle and a thin spread of mayo. It was simple. It was perfect. 

As I’ve stated before, my mother and I ate out a lot when my dad traveled. At the time these were in stores, I want to say you could pick up Chicken Littles for 3 / $1.00 or something like that, which made it a simple choice to say yes to for my mother. 

I had these little squares from heaven every couple of weeks. If she mentioned in the morning that we would be stopping by there in the evening, I would count down the minutes until I held them in my hand. But much like my disappointment with McDonald’s McPasta, I was saddened one day when I ordered my Chicken Littles and was told they were no longer available. I didn’t dwell on it though and figured they would be back one day. 

That day came several years ago, and led to the story I started this tale off with. Today’s chicken little is on a different bun, features a different cut of chicken, and is nowhere near the super cheap price you could once obtain them at. Actually, the thick piece of chicken tender on the modern version throws the taste completely off. And throw in the fact that the lettuce is usually wilted due to the heat of the chicken, it’s really not a good sandwich at all anymore. 

Just add it to the long list of junk foods we lost well before their time.

A Tribute to Nerds Cereal

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You know me and food. We have a love/hate relationship. I love it when it’s around, but I hate it when it’s gone. Just like Nerds cereal. Loved it from the moment I saw it…and have hated the loss of it since it left store shelves. It’s just one of many kinds of cereal I miss. Let’s pay it a little tribute here in this edition of Retro Ramblings.

The Nerds candy itself hit the market in 1983 and was an immediate hit with kids everywhere. Due to the huge success of the candy, Nerds cereal came along two years later.  It hit the market in 1985 and featured the same gimmick that made the candy popular by featuring not one, but two flavors in every box. And since you could get the candy in several two-flavor varieties, the cereal followed suit and offered two different, two-flavored options as well. You weren’t restricted to a lone new cereal on the shelf, oh no, you had your choice of boxes where one featured the dual choices of Grape N’ Strawberry, and the other box featured Orange N’ Cherry. 

If you take a good look at the two boxes pictured above you’ll notice another super-cool feature about Nerds cereal. So not only did you get two different cereals in each box, but you also got two different cereal premiums in each box! They were going all-in on the two cereal theme by putting a prize in each side of the box. And not only that but there were different prizes offered in each of the two boxes. That was a savvy marketing gimmick right there. I’m sure kids all over the country used the argument with their parents that they needed all four toys in an attempt to get more of this fantastic cereal.

It wasn’t just the fronts of the boxes that featured the premiums to be found inside as the backs of the boxes did as well. As a matter of fact, the pictures below show that each box featured a different back panel design for each of the cereals inside. They were truly treating this as two different cereals which just happened to be housed in the same container.

I do wonder about something though. Did both boxes of Nerds cereal come in the same case, or were grocery stores having to order a case of each? Based on my experience in the grocery business, I would think each set of flavors would have been ordered separately, but maybe this was different. If any of you reading this have any idea, please let the rest of us know.

And if all these fantastic features weren’t enough to make Nerds cereal memorable, Ralston and Nerds went even further to double-down on the dual variety theme when they introduced the special Nerds cereal bowl.

    For just a couple of proofs of purchase and fifty cents, you could send away and get the official Nerds cereal bowl.  That thing was so awesome.  It was divided into two different compartments so you could enjoy both flavors in the same bowl, yet still keep them separate.  But the sweetest feature of it was that it had a gate built into the dividing wall of the bowl!  You could raise the gate a little and let the milk flow between compartments.  Or you could raise it all the way and let both cereal flavors mingle together.  As far as main-in offers go, this one is in the top ten of my lifetime.

    I’m not sure if I had the bowl or not. Part of my brain seems to remember it, but the other half tells me I’m crazy because if I did actually have it, I would have never let it go. In the past, I’ve sat and stared off in the distance trying to dig into the deepest recesses of my mind searching for the answer to this question.

    Nerds cereal was perfect for its time. It had a great product that it was based on (the candy), it had several unbelievable gimmicks, and it had an eager audience waiting to eat it up (all of us 7-year-olds). In today’s much more health-conscious environment, I don’t know that Nerds cereal could get made. But I know one thing, if it did, I’d take the ride all over again.

    Classic Cereal Commercials

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    This edition of Retro Ramblings is kind of a combined post. A combination of a classic commercials posts mixed with a forgotten foods post. It’s two great tastes that taste great together! Let’s watch some old cereal commercials and let our mouths water and our memory glands tingle.

    Honey Nut Cheerios starring Hulk Hogan (1985)

    My earliest memories of eating cereal center around eating Cheerios. I guess my Mom wanted me to eat a healthier cereal like that instead of the really sugary kinds. That was until I saw this commercial. Being the huge wrestling fan that I was, I wasn’t hearing anything about not switching my Cheerios to Honey Nut Cheerios because Hulk Hogan liked them. It wasn’t long until the switch was made, and then once the sugary cereal barrier was broken, there was no turning back.

    Mr. T Cereal (1980 something)

    Of course, I was on the A-Team bandwagon from the beginning, and yes, B.A.Baracus was my favorite character. Then the Mister T cartoon hit, and I was all in on that too. So when Mr. T cereal dropped, I was down. I can’t even remember what it tasted like, but the commercial mentions brown sugar, so it was a sweetie. And since I had already popped my sweet cereal cherry, this was a logical step. But the song in this commercial. I ain’t gonna lie, that’s just a bad jingle. But with the excitement and the urgency in the vocalist’s voice, you knew you just had to get to the store and get a box of this.

    Smurf Berry Crunch Cereal (1983)

    Back in the early to mid-’80s, what kid worth their salt didn’t like the Smurfs? It was hard NOT to like them because the little blue bastards were everywhere. They had the hit cartoon, toys, pajamas, clocks, socks, velvet posters, and so much other crap, you really couldn’t get away from them. And then came the cereal! And if you were already a fan of the cartoon, this commercial was just like an extension of that. It made it feel like buying a box of this stuff was your duty as a fan. I bought in hook, line, and sinker. But of all the cereals on this list, this may have been my favorite. It was pretty much like Cap’n Crunch Berries cereal, but with a more fun theme. In the future, we’ll have to cover the sequel cereal, Smurf Magic Berries. That stuff was the shit too!

    Kellogg’s Nut & Honey Crunch (1987)

    This cereal was so good. Since in theory, it would seem healthier than the other cereals already mentioned, I guess my Mom was more than ok with buying this for me. And of the cereals on this list, this by far had the best hook to the commercial with everyone saying the name of the cereal, but whoever is around takes it the wrong way. It was a simple gag that they could do a lot with, and they did. Like the spoof at the end with the cowboys. I imagine calling one of those tough sumbitches “honey” would have resulted in a beatdown of the first order. It was a different time. But the cereal was damn tasty.

    Kellogg’s Big Mixx Cereal (1990)

    What in the hell is that mascot supposed to be? If you listen to the people in the commercial, they’re just as confused as I am. While it may come across as hokey, it’s still a pretty cool visual mixing up the different animals to emphasize the mix of the cereal. The moose head is the best part, and that’s not up for debate. I don’t ever remember having this cereal, but these days, it seems like I would embrace it like a warm blanket on a cold night. This is one that needs to come back to store shelves. And bring back the commercial too. It’s one I wouldn’t mind sitting through while streaming an old episode of Buck Rogers or something equally as awesome.

      Del Monte Pudding in a Can

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      You know how sometimes you find yourself sitting around doing whatever, and a random thought just pops into your head about some fast food item, or one of your favorite home-cooked dishes?  And then right behind it comes the hunger pain, and then you walk around with this craving laying heavy on you until you make the run to that fast food place, or whip up that dish that’s been on your mind, and quench that craving. 

      Well, that’s what every waking moment of my life is like.  But I get no relief from those cravings, ’cause the food that I crave doesn’t exist anymore in most cases.  I continually carry the burden of a thirst that can’t be quenched.  I’m like those cursed pirates in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. 

      I can’t satisfy those cravings because what I crave just can’t be found.  I’m talking about all those awesome fast food items, chips, candies, snacks, and drinks from years gone by, and they’re always on my mind and driving me crazy!  And I don’t know if it helps, or just makes the cravings worse to talk about them, but I’m going to do it anyway.  And today, I’m talking about one of my most missed foods…Del Monte pudding…in a can!

      Kids who came along in the early ’90s and later can have their Hunt’s Snack Packs, or their Swiss Miss from the dairy aisle. For me, the king of the hill when it came to pre-packaged pudding was Del Monte’s Chocolate Pudding in the can. Not a plastic cup, but in the little metal can! Scientists can conduct all the experiments they want to determine what effects tin and plastic packaging have on the taste of packaged food, but I can save them a little time and sum it for them in one sentence. It just tasted better out of the can! Period. End of story.

      Of course, fond memories, nostalgia, and many, many years of time can mislead the brain when it comes to reality. Maybe it wasn’t the metal can that made it taste better. It could have been the fact that I would get this fantastic little treat when visiting my grandmother. She always kept a large supply on hand, because she had 16 grandchildren, and every one of us were fans of these little cans of chocolate heaven. More times than I can even start to remember, my cousins and I would sit on her front porch indulging in the magic of those little cans of pudding while talking about important subjects of the day like He-Man, Transformers, and the latest issue of Batman.

      When I was sick and out of school, that meant a day at Grandma’s to recuperate. And on those days, you were treated to not one, but TWO cans of Del Monte Chocolate pudding. One with lunch, and an extra one “just because” later in the afternoon. You pair those cans of pudding with some Tropicana orange juice out of its glass bottle, and a can of Chicken Noodle soup, you had a remedy for sickness better than anything a doctor could prescribe.

      Nowadays, you can always run to the store to pick up a 4-pack of pudding in cheap plastic cups, but you’ll not find that incredible taste that you could enjoy when you popped a top on a can of Del Monte back in the day.