These American Defense figures are the first G.I. Joe “bootleg” figures I recall seeing on store shelves. I had 3 3/4″ figures from other lines that I tried to mix into my G.I. Joe play, but it just never felt right. Like mixing in a Stormtrooper from Star Wars…it just didn’t fit.
So these were the first bootlegs of decent quality that actually matched the vibe of G.I. Joe and could mix in almost seamlessly. For the most part, they were constructed the same way as our beloved Joes, but with cheaper materials. And while they may not have made for a good figure line on their own, they were certainly great at filling the role of figures who could take the bullet or jump on the grenade instead of your favorite Joe characters. And let’s be honest, we all needed figures like that. You can’t just have Gung-Ho or Quick Kick taking an early exit from playtime, No, you need some fodder in the lineup so the real stars can continue with the mission.
A lot of times I used them as “new recruits” who were trying to make the team. That would usually end horribly for a few of them though. The small playsets that are shown in the ad were actually pretty fun. They were cheaper than Joe sets and still provided good fun.
I want to mention that my favorite figure from the line is pictured in this ad. At the bottom, second from the left, that soldier in the karate gear always made the cut and I would pair him up with Quick Kick as a stealth special unit. That figure has always been an honorary Joe figure in my mind.
It’s funny how some things can just pop into your head that you haven’t thought about in many years. This is one of those things.
Peanut butter is a staple in most American homes. You can find it in cabinets, in lunch boxes, and in lunch pails all across this great country. It’s patriotic….right behind apple pie. And you know what else is patriotic? Superman by gosh! If you slap Superman’s name and image on a jar of peanut butter, you have the ultimate weapon against communism.
At least that’s what a lot of us kids growing up in the ’80s in the rural area I lived in thought anyway. We’d spend a lot of our time at recess after lunch playing Superman vs The Russians on the school playground. No joke. We had our bellies full of Superman peanut butter and were battling the red menace to keep our playgrounds safe…just like in Red Dawn. It was serious business. I even started a super-secret spy club in school to help combat the threat that we were exposed to on the news every night. But I digress.
Anyway, I’m not sure Superman peanut butter tasted any better than Skippy, Peter Pan, or Jif. Actually, from what I’ve read online, Superman may have even been a cheaper variety than those others listed. No matter the cost, that brand of peanut butter with Superman on the label is what I still identify as the epitome of peanut butter from my childhood.
As a sidebar, I can explicitly remember one distinct point in time when I was eating Superman peanut butter. It was January 28, 1986. We were out of school that day due to snow. I was sitting on the floor of our basement where I usually played, with a Superman peanut butter sandwich in front of me as I watched the launch of the Space Shuttle Challenger. It was one of those moments where you always remember where you were and what you were doing….and I had Superman peanut butter to make me feel a little better as I watched those events unfold.
In 1988, I was all about Nintendo. It had probably taken over as my favorite toy by that point if you want to consider it a toy. And I was already self-aware of my finer tastes in junk food. So Nintendo cereal coming along was right up my alley. It was made by Ralston, who was the king of producing commercially-licensed cereals in the ’80s and ’90s.
This short-lived cereal featured a split package designed and contained both Super Mario Bros. cereal and Zelda Adventure cereal. The Mario cereal was “fruity” flavored and was made up of super mushrooms, Goombas, Koopa Troopas, and Bowser-shaped pieces. The Zelda side consisted of berry-flavored Links, hearts, keys, boomerangs, and shields.
Given how I love gimmicky junk food, the fact that this mimicked Nerds cereal by featuring two different flavors packaged separately in the same box made it a sure bet that a box of this would end up coming home from the grocery store with us. And since she knew how big of a Nintendo fan I was, my mom didn’t put up a fight when I asked to try it.
I can’t recall the taste or if I was a fan or not, but the fact that it had no marshmallows was not a good start for a kid’s cereal if you want to make it long-term. It hit the market in 1988 and was gone in 1989. While it may not have stuck around long, it made a lasting impression on a lot of people, myself included.
When Konami unleashed the first Castlevania cartridge on the Nintendo world in 1987, I was still too wrapped up in Super Mario Bros., ExciteBike, and Pro Wrestling to pay much attention. Even though the original game was much loved and had a lot of hype around it, I was still impervious to the franchise’s existence when Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest rolled out in 1988.
I’ve never hidden the fact that this game is my favorite all-time for Nintendo. Most players hold Castlevania III in much higher regard than this, and I can see where they are coming from. Dracula’s Curse was an amazing game with an amazing feature that lets you keep changing which character you were using. But for me, it all goes back to this being my first role-playing game, and I had bought it myself with weeks and weeks worth of saved-up allowance money. Thus, I prefer this over the more popular Castlevania III.
Now I don’t know how much advertising was put into this game, but this comic book ad…boy is it a beaut! It’s got screenshots, box art, details on the game via intricate storytelling, and great art that is relative to what the game is. Take out the fact that this is my favorite game, the ad itself is just really good. It sends a pretty good message as to what you would be getting in the game and creates a sense of need to own it. Even Don Draper and the boys at Sterling Cooper would be proud to have made this ad.
But not seeing this ad until much later in life, I’m not quite sure what attracted me to it in the first place. All I know is, that one Saturday afternoon I took all the money I had saved up to the local K-Mart when my Mom went to do her usual shopping. I went straight to the electronics section and started scanning the available Nintendo games, as I was intent on picking one up that day. Maybe it was the only game they had, or maybe the box art just got to me. But little did I know, that I was purchasing one of my all-time favorite games for the Nintendo system. Matter of fact, when I bought a Wii for the kids when they came out, I immediately downloaded Simon’s Quest for it and played it right up until the system got outdated and the kids moved on to something else.
In Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest, you take the role of Simon Belmont on a journey to undo the curse placed on him and his family by Dracula at the end of the original Castlevania game.
The quest of Simon to destroy Dracula was the simple premise, but the much more complicated facet of the game was just where in the heck did you find Dracula, and what weapon do you use on him when you find him? You spent your time traveling through towns, forests, and mansions killing skeletons, wolfmen, sea creatures, and everything else that got in your way, including spiders and floating eyeballs.
You earned “hearts” that were like money and you used that money to upgrade your whip and buy additional weapons like Holy Water, Laurel Bushes, Diamonds, and numerous other curiosities. You also had to talk to the townspeople to get clues on which direction to go to find Dracula and how to beat him. All this wrapped into the game made it one heck of a time-waster, and I can’t forget the Saturday afternoon that I finally beat the damn thing.
Castlevania II was the first role-playing game that I can ever remember playing, and even to this day, role-playing games are not my cup of tea. But Simon’s Quest has stood the test of time and holds a special place in my heart as one of the best, and most fun video games I ever put my hands on.
Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest is readily available on the numerous Nintendo emulator and ROM sites you find on the web. If you never played it back in the day, I highly suggest you give it a shot on some rainy Saturday afternoon and see what you think.
We’re going back to the old comic book ad well again. Don’t worry, it’s a deep well, and I can keep going back over and over again and probably will never run out of fun/cool ads to showcase and talk about. If you’re not familiar with the concept, you can get up by checking out the previous posts looking at old comic book ads here, here, here, and here. For this edition, we’re looking at ads that have a spookier vibe than normal in celebration of the Halloween season. Let’s jump into it!
Shrunken Head Apple Sculpture (1976)
We’re starting off with this beauty from the late-’70s. The Shrunken Head Apple Sculpture Kit seems like such a weird toy to be marketed to kids, but here you go. The ad itself gives oss suffecient spooky vibes with the shrunken head itself, and the box art featuring Vincent Price. I just looked one of these kits up on eBay, and one still in the box will set you back a few hundred dollars.
Elvira T-Shirt (1986)
Elvira always fascinated me growing up. While I wasn’t anywhere close to an area to see her original show on TV, I was still well aware of her existence. From her appearance at Wrestlemania 2 to her guest-starring role on The Fall Guy the same year, I became a big fan pretty quickly. Both of those appearances took place in the same year this shirt was offered. Had I seen this offer then, I probably would have thought about picking one up.
Tales From the Crypt (1991)
Tales From the Crypt was such a great series back in the day, and I imagine it still holds up pretty well today. Did the Cryptkeeper subplant Elvira as the favored horror-themed show host when he came along? That one is worth thinking about. This ad is really nothing special in and of itself, but the Cryptkeeper is always ready for spooky glam shots. Why oh why isn’t Tales From the Crypt streaming on HBO Max? We need it in our lives for not just Halloween, but year round.
Trading Card Treats (1991)
Whoever came up with the idea of creating packs of trading cards to give out on Halloween was a genius, and a saint. What surprises me is that the idea never caught on and became a thing. When I was young and trick-or-treating on my grandmother’s street, there was an older gentleman that would give cards out instead of candy. He would purchase plenty of packs of Topps Baseball cards for the given year, and every kid that came to his door got a whole pack! His was my favorite stop every year in those days.
These Trading Card Treats were just such an awesome thing to do. The ad doesn’t specify how many cards are in a pack, nor how many packs come in a box. It’s possible that the packs/cost ratio was such that it wasn’t feasible for a lot of folks to give these out, thus killing off the idea in general. I need to search eBay and see which bags of these are available for good prices. It would be cool to give out packs of those Universal Monsters cards or Marvel Comics cards this year.
Nabisco’s Wicked Halloween Party (1998)
So back in 1998, it looks like Nabisco was throwing the coolest party on the block, and if you were lucky enough to be one of the winners, you have a story to tell for the rest of your life. The 15 Grand Prize winners got to party with the Universal Studios classic monsters and an all day tour of Universal Studios in Florida…with no waiting in any lines. That’s pretty bad ass.
Aside from the cool prize, the ad itself is great. It’s got the colors that set the mood for the season with the purple, orange, and prominent green font. The Universal Monsters are there too just so you KNOW it’s Halloween related.
Silver Shamrock Masks
So this one doesn’t really count since it isn’t a real ad. Someone put a lot of time and effort into creating such a true looking comic book ad to advertise the Silver Shamrock masks from Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Hell, this is better looking than all of the real comic book ads in this post. I just love this one so much, especially since I just watched the movie for the first time. We need more real products advertised in this fashion these days. That may be part of whats wrong with the world today.
Thanks for taking a little time out of your busy day to read about a few spooky old comic book ads. This is the fifth installment so far, and there will be plenty more to come in time.
Friday Five is a quick list of five things with a common theme, and instead of doing a big write-up, I’m doing it in pictures (or videos) with just a couple of sentences to give context to the picks.You can play along by adding some of your own in the comments.
The early days of the Masters of the Universe brand were fascinating. I’ve covered a couple of the early ads here and here, and in this Friday Five post, we’re going to take a look at five more.
I’m not sure exactly when this ad is from, but it’s either from 1981 or very early 1982, as the quip at the bottom of the scroll says more figures will be coming later in 1982. And the fact that it only features characters from the original wave of figures, solidifies that thought.
The Beast Man interpretation is pretty cool in this one. I’m sure it would have been difficult to convey this look onto a plastic action figure, but that would have been a great-looking figure. It would have also been good if this interpretation was what we had gotten in the animated series as well. It would have been pretty hard to portray him as a goof like they did if the character looked like this.
Here’s another one from the early days, and it’s a sale ad from a newspaper. Again, only some figures from the original wave are featured. It’s interesting that it’s Beast Man and Stratos featured in the ad and no He-Man and Skeletor. But even though they are featured prominently, the ad seems geared more toward promoting Castle Grayskull instead of the figures.
While that $21.47 price tag after rebates sounds appealing, if you adjust it for inflations, it works out to be $65.92 in 2022 dollars. That’s right in the range I would think it should be. The figure’s price of $3.88 translates to $11.91. At that kind of price point, I’m surprised I ended up with as many figures as I did as a kid.
This ad is from 1982 and from a newspaper as well. Besides advertising several cool toys, this ad promotes the ability to meet He-Man and Skeletor in person at the local department store.
Those in-person meeting opportunities still fascinate me. They certainly weren’t going to happen in my neck of the woods. I’ve seen just a few pictures online, and don’t believe I’ve come across any stories from anyone who actually went to one. If you ever got to go to one, by all means, please share your story in the comment section.
This is a beautiful ad right here. It’s an ad from some kind of trade magazine trying to entice store owners to carry the product. Using Star Wars figures in the background is a nice move as they try to show that those toys are the past, and He-Man is the future. It details how popular the line was the year before, selling over five million figures, and promising more new figures to come. Towards the end, it mentions the opportunities for in-store experiences like we saw in the previous ad. I’m sure with the powerful imagery featured, and those statistics on sales numbers from the year before, this ad convinced a few more stores to get on board.
And finally, we come to an ad from late in the brand’s heyday. This is an ad for the Masters of the Universe magazine, which was a quarterly magazine that was only available through subscription. It features three actual issues in this ad, and if you want to see what this magazine was all about, check out the Time Capsule feature here on Retro Ramblings to browse through the entire issue pictured on the far right.
When it came to magazines like these, I always drooled over them. They were available featuring brands like MOTU, G.I. Joe, The Smurfs, Barbie, and more. The closest I ever got to that was a subscription to LEGO’s Brick Kicks magazine in the late ’80s. I was disappointed by it, but I believe I would have found this magazine fully worth the time since I was a bit younger and it would have been geared more towards my age.
While the name may not ring a bell to everyone, I’m sure you grew up seeing these ads in comic books and marveling at the wonders they promised. Let’s check out some of the items offered that intrigue me in this very weird edition of Retro Ramblings.
Click the image for a larger, full-resolution version!
These ads changed through the years as new products were introduced, but I don’t think they ever really discontinued many items. I would assume everything was pretty much always available because I seem to remember actual bound catalogs being available at some point. I always wanted things I saw in these ads, but could never save any of my allowances on weekends long enough to get a money order to get anything with. So let’s look at some of the things I found interesting through my younger years in this ad.
X-Ray Vision Glasses
Ok. So what red-blooded pre-teen boy wouldn’t want something like this? It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what we would have in mind when ordering these. That little line there about being able to see-through clothes probably sold more pairs of these than anything else. But according to the fabulous book, Mail-Order Mysteries, these were just an optical illusion created by feather-like things between two pieces of cardboard with little holes in them. What a bummer. I wish I had never read that, as I had spent my whole life wondering “what if?”.
Pocket Spy Telescope
Now this is a cool little gadget. Imagine carrying around a telescope in your shirt pocket. I know it couldn’t possibly magnify things too much, but for something that small that fits in your pocket, it had to magnify enough to make it cool. It could have been the start of a budding spy career.
Secret Weapon Spy Watch
Speaking of a spy career, this watch seems like it would have been great for that schoolyard profession. Mainly because if you got caught spying, you could fire a shot at whoever caught you to allow you to get away without being actually apprehended. Surely this watch would have gone unnoticed by anyone as being anything other than a normal old watch.
Smoke From Your Fingertips
I always had this idea that I could use this stuff to make classmates fear me. I mean, wouldn’t that be scary? If you were swelling up against some kid in your class, and all of a sudden he popped a puff of smoke from his fingertips in anger, wouldn’t that make you take a step back? That’s what I had in mind when I wanted to get my hands on this stuff. Bud sadly, it apparently was just some goo that went between your fingers, and when you pulled them apart, it came apart in tiny strings that just kind of looked like smoke. Curses. Foiled again.
1001 Free Things
So this may very well be the best value on the whole page. I mean, it only costs $1.25, and you’re gonna find out how to get over 1000 things for free! Nothing else on the page can even come close to this kind of value. Maps, toys, games, jewelry, coins, stamps…c’mon, this thing is the mother lode. Of all the things I’ve highlighted here, I think this is the one I wish I could go back in time and order. Even if it was junk, I think it would provide days and weeks of cool fun as you browsed the listings, possibly sent away for some of the free stuff, and then waited anxiously for it to arrive. Simpler times.
I was flipping through some old comics books the other day, and came across some random title from 1984. As I was flipping through it, I came across a bevy of kick-ass old advertisements. These are too cool not to share, so here is the first one.
We’re starting things off with my favorite one of the batch. Up until I saw this, I never had any idea that Monogram made model kits of the MOTU vehicles. I was big into model kits back in the day, and He-Man was my hero, so how this escaped me for all this time is mind-boggling. This Talon FIghter and Attak Trak just look bad-ass, and I wonder if any of these kits could still be found on eBay?
Digging a little deeper, I also find a Roton still in its box for $92! That seems like a steal. The box looks a little beat up, but I’d personally be looking to pick one up to put together, not leave in the box.
And with even more digging, I just found the Talon Fighter! It says it’s complete and the only thing I see missing is the plastic wrap from around the box is missing. It’s currently listed for $95. You can click on any of the links I added to go right to the auction listings for each.
So what say you? Do you even remember these things? The prices sound reasonable in today’s market? I’m going to have to think on this for a bit.
A Line in the Sand is a game I drooled over every time I saw it in old comic book ads in the early ’90s. My problem was, that living in a rural area I had no stores around that carried niche items like this, so I’ve never actually played the game. But I’ve studied it quite a bit since the internet became a thing, and here’s what I’ve learned about it.
A Line in the Sand is a game detailing the Persian Gulf War fought in the early 1990s. Many of the mechanics are similar to that of other TSR wargames like Red Storm Rising, so players of their games should easily be able to jump in and play this one.
Two versions of this game are played. With less than 5 players, the game is pretty basic, where military might is what wins the game. Players take sides, usually a combination of Middle Eastern nations plus the US. In the two-player version, for instance, it’s the US & Allies vs. Iraq; in the three-player game “Holy War”, it’s Israel vs. Iraq (and Yemen and Jordan) vs. Saudi Arabia (and Syria, Libya, and Lebanon), and so on.
For this post, we’re going back to 1990 to look at an ad featuring a Nintendo game I found under the tree that year. That’s all the reason I need to consider this a Christmas-themed post.
Now as for the ad itself, it’s pretty swank. It does its best to make the game sound exciting by throwing out those blurbs about what you’ll face in the game. Unfortunately, some of those things just don’t sound exciting. The Karate Creeps and Combat Copters sound great, but when you have to start naming off things like Open Manholes and Vicious Dogs, it could be an indicator that your game isn’t exactly Contra.
But it does highlight some screenshots, and the shots they chose to show make the game look really good. The broken highway in particular makes it look like a game you’d want to play.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking the game. I really liked it. The fighting aspect was fun in its own way, and the skating aspect added a degree of difficulty not often seen in side-scrolling games. Like, after you landed a jump you had to instantly react because your player would just keep going. While that doesn’t sound all that bad, think about all the spots in games where you have to make numerous consecutive jumps and land on little spots between them.
The problem this game suffered from was false advertising. I mean, if you were watching Rollergames on television, you were expecting a roller derby on a figure-eight track with the massive wall of death and alligators potentially on the track. But what you go was a side-scrolling fighting game. It’s like they had a game designed that they felt they needed to attach a brand to, and Rollergames was it.
They did keep the teams from Rollergames intact, as you had your choice of three playable characters. A girl from the Hot Flash, a guy from The Rockers, or “The IceBox” Robert Smith from the world-famous L.A. T-Birds. The managers of the heel teams were also represented, as they were featured as level bosses throughout the game.
The Rollergames TV show didn’t have a large following. I mean, it only lasted 13 episodes. So Konami was already drawing from a limited pool and the fact that the video game wasn’t like what was seen on TV further limited its appeal. But none of that stopped me from enjoying it. I liked the game for what it was and spent many hours on it. Especially on Christmas day in 1990. There…that last sentence reinforces that this is a post for Christmas.
