Tag Archives: Comic Book Ads

Masters of the Universe Toys Ad (1984)

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This may be my favorite ad out of all of the many ones that were printed for the line. If it’s not at the top of my list, it’s certainly in the top five. The image of the kid having a ball playing with the MOTU figures with his Mom over his shoulder fills me with nostalgia because my own Mom would sometimes watch me play with various toys.

I have no idea where this ad originally appeared, but I can tell it was a two-page spread. Can you imagine how awesome it would be to be thumbing through some magazine and all of a sudden you turn a page and BAM!, this ad smacks you right in the face!

Looking at the figures that are prominent in the ad, it can be guessed that this ad is from 1984. Everything pictured was on the market by 1984, and I don’t see anything that was released in 1985 or later.

There are 18 different action figures from the line pictured, and I had 17 of them with the lone exception being Webstor. But I did get a chance to play with Webstor on occasion because my cousin Tim had him. I really dug the Webstor figure because of his cool backpack grappling hook feature that allowed him to scale objects with the pull of the string coming out of the bottom of the backpack.

Of the figures pictured here, it’s hard for me to narrow down my favorite. The Battle Armor He-Man and Skeletor figures were cool with their rotating check plates that showed increasing damage during battle. But Cobra Khan had the cool “spitting” feature where you could fill him up with water and pump his head like a spray bottle and it would squirt out of his mouth. Then there are Fisto and Jitsu with their action arm features, and Whiplash with his elongated rubber tail. Dang, those figures were just so much fun back then.

Besides the figures, you’ve also got both Castle Grayskull and Snake Mountain present, showing off the cool playsets that were available as part of the line. I had both of those too. I got Castle Grayskull for Christmas one year, but can’t recall when and where I got Snake Mountain.

In closing, this ad just brings a ton of memories flooding back to me, and I wish I could go back in time…not just in body, but in mind and youthfulness and live through the boom period of the Masters of the Universe again.

Highlights From a Johnson Smith Company Ad

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While the name may not ring a bell to everyone, I’m sure you grew up seeing these ads in comic books and marveling at the wonders they promised. Let’s check out some of the items offered that intrigue me in this very weird edition of Retro Ramblings.

Click the image for a larger, full-resolution version!

These ads changed through the years as new products were introduced, but I don’t think they ever really discontinued many items. I would assume everything was pretty much always available because I seem to remember actual bound catalogs being available at some point. I always wanted things I saw in these ads, but could never save any of my allowances on weekends long enough to get a money order to get anything with. So let’s look at some of the things I found interesting through my younger years in this ad.

X-Ray Vision Glasses

Ok. So what red-blooded pre-teen boy wouldn’t want something like this? It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what we would have in mind when ordering these. That little line there about being able to see-through clothes probably sold more pairs of these than anything else. But according to the fabulous book, Mail-Order Mysteries, these were just an optical illusion created by feather-like things between two pieces of cardboard with little holes in them. What a bummer. I wish I had never read that, as I had spent my whole life wondering “what if?”.

Pocket Spy Telescope

Now this is a cool little gadget. Imagine carrying around a telescope in your shirt pocket. I know it couldn’t possibly magnify things too much, but for something that small that fits in your pocket, it had to magnify enough to make it cool. It could have been the start of a budding spy career.

Secret Weapon Spy Watch

Speaking of a spy career, this watch seems like it would have been great for that schoolyard profession. Mainly because if you got caught spying, you could fire a shot at whoever caught you to allow you to get away without being actually apprehended. Surely this watch would have gone unnoticed by anyone as being anything other than a normal old watch.

Smoke From Your Fingertips

I always had this idea that I could use this stuff to make classmates fear me. I mean, wouldn’t that be scary? If you were swelling up against some kid in your class, and all of a sudden he popped a puff of smoke from his fingertips in anger, wouldn’t that make you take a step back? That’s what I had in mind when I wanted to get my hands on this stuff. Bud sadly, it apparently was just some goo that went between your fingers, and when you pulled them apart, it came apart in tiny strings that just kind of looked like smoke. Curses. Foiled again.

1001 Free Things

So this may very well be the best value on the whole page. I mean, it only costs $1.25, and you’re gonna find out how to get over 1000 things for free! Nothing else on the page can even come close to this kind of value. Maps, toys, games, jewelry, coins, stamps…c’mon, this thing is the mother lode. Of all the things I’ve highlighted here, I think this is the one I wish I could go back in time and order. Even if it was junk, I think it would provide days and weeks of cool fun as you browsed the listings, possibly sent away for some of the free stuff, and then waited anxiously for it to arrive. Simpler times.

Masters of the Universe Model Kits (1984)

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I was flipping through some old comics books the other day, and came across some random title from 1984.  As I was flipping through it, I came across a bevy of kick-ass old advertisements.  These are too cool not to share, so here is the first one. 

We’re starting things off with my favorite one of the batch.  Up until I saw this, I never had any idea that Monogram made model kits of the MOTU vehicles.  I was big into model kits back in the day, and He-Man was my hero, so how this escaped me for all this time is mind-boggling.  This Talon FIghter and Attak Trak just look bad-ass, and I wonder if any of these kits could still be found on eBay? 

Yep.  A quick search pulled up an Attack Trak kit still sealed in its box for $225. 

Digging a little deeper, I also find a Roton still in its box for $92!  That seems like a steal.  The box looks a little beat up, but I’d personally be looking to pick one up to put together, not leave in the box. 

And with even more digging, I just found the Talon Fighter!  It says it’s complete and the only thing I see missing is the plastic wrap from around the box is missing.  It’s currently listed for $95.  You can click on any of the links I added to go right to the auction listings for each. 

So what say you?  Do you even remember these things?  The prices sound reasonable in today’s market?  I’m going to have to think on this for a bit. 

A Line in the Sand Board Game

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A Line in the Sand is a game I drooled over every time I saw it in old comic book ads in the early ’90s. My problem was, that living in a rural area I had no stores around that carried niche items like this, so I’ve never actually played the game. But I’ve studied it quite a bit since the internet became a thing, and here’s what I’ve learned about it.

A Line in the Sand is a game detailing the Persian Gulf War fought in the early 1990s. Many of the mechanics are similar to that of other TSR wargames like Red Storm Rising, so players of their games should easily be able to jump in and play this one.

Two versions of this game are played. With less than 5 players, the game is pretty basic, where military might is what wins the game. Players take sides, usually a combination of Middle Eastern nations plus the US. In the two-player version, for instance, it’s the US & Allies vs. Iraq; in the three-player game “Holy War”, it’s Israel vs. Iraq (and Yemen and Jordan) vs. Saudi Arabia (and Syria, Libya, and Lebanon), and so on.

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Rollergames: The Nintendo Game

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For this post, we’re going back to 1990 to look at an ad featuring a Nintendo game I found under the tree that year. That’s all the reason I need to consider this a Christmas-themed post.

Now as for the ad itself, it’s pretty swank. It does its best to make the game sound exciting by throwing out those blurbs about what you’ll face in the game. Unfortunately, some of those things just don’t sound exciting. The Karate Creeps and Combat Copters sound great, but when you have to start naming off things like Open Manholes and Vicious Dogs, it could be an indicator that your game isn’t exactly Contra.

But it does highlight some screenshots, and the shots they chose to show make the game look really good. The broken highway in particular makes it look like a game you’d want to play.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking the game. I really liked it. The fighting aspect was fun in its own way, and the skating aspect added a degree of difficulty not often seen in side-scrolling games. Like, after you landed a jump you had to instantly react because your player would just keep going. While that doesn’t sound all that bad, think about all the spots in games where you have to make numerous consecutive jumps and land on little spots between them.

The problem this game suffered from was false advertising. I mean, if you were watching Rollergames on television, you were expecting a roller derby on a figure-eight track with the massive wall of death and alligators potentially on the track. But what you go was a side-scrolling fighting game. It’s like they had a game designed that they felt they needed to attach a brand to, and Rollergames was it.

They did keep the teams from Rollergames intact, as you had your choice of three playable characters. A girl from the Hot Flash, a guy from The Rockers, or “The IceBox” Robert Smith from the world-famous L.A. T-Birds. The managers of the heel teams were also represented, as they were featured as level bosses throughout the game.

The Rollergames TV show didn’t have a large following. I mean, it only lasted 13 episodes. So Konami was already drawing from a limited pool and the fact that the video game wasn’t like what was seen on TV further limited its appeal. But none of that stopped me from enjoying it. I liked the game for what it was and spent many hours on it. Especially on Christmas day in 1990. There…that last sentence reinforces that this is a post for Christmas.