I was flipping through some old comics books the other day, and came across some random title from 1984. As I was flipping through it, I came across a bevy of kick-ass old advertisements. These are too cool not to share, so here is the first one.
We’re starting things off with my favorite one of the batch. Up until I saw this, I never had any idea that Monogram made model kits of the MOTU vehicles. I was big into model kits back in the day, and He-Man was my hero, so how this escaped me for all this time is mind-boggling. This Talon FIghter and Attak Trak just look bad-ass, and I wonder if any of these kits could still be found on eBay?
Digging a little deeper, I also find a Roton still in its box for $92! That seems like a steal. The box looks a little beat up, but I’d personally be looking to pick one up to put together, not leave in the box.
And with even more digging, I just found the Talon Fighter! It says it’s complete and the only thing I see missing is the plastic wrap from around the box is missing. It’s currently listed for $95. You can click on any of the links I added to go right to the auction listings for each.
So what say you? Do you even remember these things? The prices sound reasonable in today’s market? I’m going to have to think on this for a bit.
A Line in the Sand is a game I drooled over every time I saw it in old comic book ads in the early ’90s. My problem was, that living in a rural area I had no stores around that carried niche items like this, so I’ve never actually played the game. But I’ve studied it quite a bit since the internet became a thing, and here’s what I’ve learned about it.
A Line in the Sand is a game detailing the Persian Gulf War fought in the early 1990s. Many of the mechanics are similar to that of other TSR wargames like Red Storm Rising, so players of their games should easily be able to jump in and play this one.
Two versions of this game are played. With less than 5 players, the game is pretty basic, where military might is what wins the game. Players take sides, usually a combination of Middle Eastern nations plus the US. In the two-player version, for instance, it’s the US & Allies vs. Iraq; in the three-player game “Holy War”, it’s Israel vs. Iraq (and Yemen and Jordan) vs. Saudi Arabia (and Syria, Libya, and Lebanon), and so on.
This edition of Retro Ramblings is kind of a combined post. A combination of a classic commercials posts mixed with a forgotten foods post. It’s two great tastes that taste great together! Let’s watch some old cereal commercials and let our mouths water and our memory glands tingle.
Honey Nut Cheerios starring Hulk Hogan (1985)
My earliest memories of eating cereal center around eating Cheerios. I guess my Mom wanted me to eat a healthier cereal like that instead of the really sugary kinds. That was until I saw this commercial. Being the huge wrestling fan that I was, I wasn’t hearing anything about not switching my Cheerios to Honey Nut Cheerios because Hulk Hogan liked them. It wasn’t long until the switch was made, and then once the sugary cereal barrier was broken, there was no turning back.
Mr. T Cereal (1980 something)
Of course, I was on the A-Team bandwagon from the beginning, and yes, B.A.Baracus was my favorite character. Then the Mister T cartoon hit, and I was all in on that too. So when Mr. T cereal dropped, I was down. I can’t even remember what it tasted like, but the commercial mentions brown sugar, so it was a sweetie. And since I had already popped my sweet cereal cherry, this was a logical step. But the song in this commercial. I ain’t gonna lie, that’s just a bad jingle. But with the excitement and the urgency in the vocalist’s voice, you knew you just had to get to the store and get a box of this.
Smurf Berry Crunch Cereal (1983)
Back in the early to mid-’80s, what kid worth their salt didn’t like the Smurfs? It was hard NOT to like them because the little blue bastards were everywhere. They had the hit cartoon, toys, pajamas, clocks, socks, velvet posters, and so much other crap, you really couldn’t get away from them. And then came the cereal! And if you were already a fan of the cartoon, this commercial was just like an extension of that. It made it feel like buying a box of this stuff was your duty as a fan. I bought in hook, line, and sinker. But of all the cereals on this list, this may have been my favorite. It was pretty much like Cap’n Crunch Berries cereal, but with a more fun theme. In the future, we’ll have to cover the sequel cereal, Smurf Magic Berries. That stuff was the shit too!
Kellogg’s Nut & Honey Crunch (1987)
This cereal was so good. Since in theory, it would seem healthier than the other cereals already mentioned, I guess my Mom was more than ok with buying this for me. And of the cereals on this list, this by far had the best hook to the commercial with everyone saying the name of the cereal, but whoever is around takes it the wrong way. It was a simple gag that they could do a lot with, and they did. Like the spoof at the end with the cowboys. I imagine calling one of those tough sumbitches “honey” would have resulted in a beatdown of the first order. It was a different time. But the cereal was damn tasty.
Kellogg’s Big Mixx Cereal (1990)
What in the hell is that mascot supposed to be? If you listen to the people in the commercial, they’re just as confused as I am. While it may come across as hokey, it’s still a pretty cool visual mixing up the different animals to emphasize the mix of the cereal. The moose head is the best part, and that’s not up for debate. I don’t ever remember having this cereal, but these days, it seems like I would embrace it like a warm blanket on a cold night. This is one that needs to come back to store shelves. And bring back the commercial too. It’s one I wouldn’t mind sitting through while streaming an old episode of Buck Rogers or something equally as awesome.
For this post, we’re going back to 1990 to look at an ad featuring a Nintendo game I found under the tree that year. That’s all the reason I need to consider this a Christmas-themed post.
Now as for the ad itself, it’s pretty swank. It does its best to make the game sound exciting by throwing out those blurbs about what you’ll face in the game. Unfortunately, some of those things just don’t sound exciting. The Karate Creeps and Combat Copters sound great, but when you have to start naming off things like Open Manholes and Vicious Dogs, it could be an indicator that your game isn’t exactly Contra.
But it does highlight some screenshots, and the shots they chose to show make the game look really good. The broken highway in particular makes it look like a game you’d want to play.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking the game. I really liked it. The fighting aspect was fun in its own way, and the skating aspect added a degree of difficulty not often seen in side-scrolling games. Like, after you landed a jump you had to instantly react because your player would just keep going. While that doesn’t sound all that bad, think about all the spots in games where you have to make numerous consecutive jumps and land on little spots between them.
The problem this game suffered from was false advertising. I mean, if you were watching Rollergames on television, you were expecting a roller derby on a figure-eight track with the massive wall of death and alligators potentially on the track. But what you go was a side-scrolling fighting game. It’s like they had a game designed that they felt they needed to attach a brand to, and Rollergames was it.
They did keep the teams from Rollergames intact, as you had your choice of three playable characters. A girl from the Hot Flash, a guy from The Rockers, or “The IceBox” Robert Smith from the world-famous L.A. T-Birds. The managers of the heel teams were also represented, as they were featured as level bosses throughout the game.
The Rollergames TV show didn’t have a large following. I mean, it only lasted 13 episodes. So Konami was already drawing from a limited pool and the fact that the video game wasn’t like what was seen on TV further limited its appeal. But none of that stopped me from enjoying it. I liked the game for what it was and spent many hours on it. Especially on Christmas day in 1990. There…that last sentence reinforces that this is a post for Christmas.
Man, what better way to keep getting pumped up for Christmas than watching some old Christmas commercials! No? You’re not a fan of commercials, are you? Well, once upon a time I didn’t use to be. But that was back in the days before Tivo, Netflix, and other streaming services that allow you to skip all the advertising.
These days, I find myself kind of missing commercials. Not every commercial break, but some old commercials in particular. It was rare, but sometimes commercials could actually enhance the show you were viewing. Hang on…hear me out! I can remember watching Mickey’s Christmas Carol Special that aired on NBC every year in the mid-late ’80s, and when the commercials that aired were Christmas in nature, it kept the cool Christmas vibe going for my young self. So these commercials we’re viewing here today get a pass. That seems like enough of an opening…let’s get to five of my favorite classic Christmas commercials.
Folgers Coffee – Peter Comes Home for Christmas
I’m not sure why this commercial ever touched me as a kid. It probably had something to do with the fact that my old man traveled a lot, and there were times he would come in early in the morning like this. Never at Christmas though. He was always in town for that. But whatever the reason, this commercial has continued to resonate with me for all these years since I first saw it air.
I think it really embodies the spirit of Christmas in the form I like to think of it. Families being together, and enjoying simple things in life like a fresh cup of coffee is endearing to me. I actually keep this commercial on my Christmas playlist on YouTube to make sure I see every season.
Polaroid Cameras
One of the great frustrations for me growing up was trying to prove or disprove that Santa Claus was real. I tried my own ways of getting to the bottom of things, but trying to snap a picture with a Polaroid camera was never one of them. I give these two kids an A for effort here, as their plan kinda worked. They just didn’t anticipate Santa being a petty thief and sneaking away with their snapshot.
Budweiser Clydesdales
There’s something about those old Budweiser commercials featuring their famous Clydesdale horses that I just love. Now, there was never any drinking in our family, but that didn’t stop us from enjoying these commercials. And this one, in particular, is really good. Just seeing those horses tromp through the snow with the Christmas music in the background is enough to take me way back in time to maybe a Friday night in front of the fireplace while the folks watched the latest episode of Dallas. It makes me think of all those good old days in the ’80s.
Fruity Pebbles Cereal
Ok, so here is another product I identify with Christmas, based pretty much on just this commercial. Now I’ve always loved me a big bowl of delicious Fruity Pebbles, and it doesn’t have to be Christmas for me to enjoy them. But I always make sure I have some on hand for the holiday season. When it gets to be about October, I start keeping my eyes out in the stores for the special Christmas edition of the cereal with the red and green pebbles.
This commercial embodies the Christmas spirit as well as Fred finally lets Barney have a bowl of his Pebbles that he’s always after. Maybe those kids should have paid attention to this lesson and let the Trix rabbit have some for Christmas.
McDonalds Ice Skating
Of all the commercials on this list and all the commercials that have ever aired with a Christmas theme, this one is my favorite. I’m not sure I can pinpoint exactly when I first saw it, but I CAN pinpoint when it first connected with me. It was on during the airing of Mickey’s Christmas Carol in 1985. For whatever reason, watching the sad tale of the little boy who was left behind while everyone was ice skating was something that I held on to. Nowadays, I include this commercial on every bootleg Christmas special I put together for my kids. I really don’t associate Ronald McDonald with Christmas in any other way, but for this 30 seconds, he’s as big a hero as Santa Claus.
Well, that’s it. Five classic Christmas commercials that I never minded seeing pop up in the middle of my favorite show. Do you have any old favorites? Share them in the comments if you do.
