The Year Santa Became Real

Posted on by
1

In this very special edition of Retro Ramblings, I’m sharing a story from my childhood about a Christmas unlike any other I had known before it. It was a Christmas that changed my outlook on the holiday, and as you’ll read, recent events made that particular season all the more special.

Prelude

1983 – 5 years old…I have no real memories of Christmas that year other than my Grandfather passing away in the first week of December.

1984 – 6 years old…Show and Tell on the first day back to school after Christmas break. I took a little plastic trumpet, silver in color, to school…..and I was so proud of it. Several other kids teased me wondering if that was the best thing I had gotten for Christmas.

1985 – 7 years old…I had gotten a set of 12 toy cars for Christmas. Not Hot Wheels or Matchbox, but a generic version of them. There was a police car, a wrecker, some race cars, and various other cars and trucks. I wore them out that winter and spring I played with them so much.

1986 – 8 years old…HOLY COW!!! WHAT DID I DO FOR SANTA CLAUS TO BRING ME SO MUCH COOL STUFF?!?

By the fall of 1986, my thoughts were starting to turn to the coming Christmas season, and anticipation was starting to build for the holiday. The hope of children isn’t easily pushed to the side, but back in those days, I would be lying if I said that Christmas didn’t feel a little lacking.

Admittedly, I personally never felt slighted on Christmas morning. Whatever was under the tree from Santa Claus always left a lasting impression on me, even if I sometimes felt the little internal tug of wanting a little bit more. But when I would return to school, and see and hear about all the cool things my friends and others had gotten for Christmas, I would get a little jealous.

I was a good kid. I never caused trouble at school, and I definitely knew better than to cause trouble at home. I did my chores and I ate my vegetables, so why did I seem to be farther down Santa’s Nice list than some of the other kids? “Jonathon pushed Samantha down and hurt her arm”, “why did he get a huge Lego set and I only got a trumpet?”. “Zach punched me in the arm all year…hard.” “Why did he get a cool G.I. Joe HISS Tank and all the Dreadnoks figures and I ended up with a set of cars?” Such are the worrisome ponderings and questions of a kid who is not aware of all the comings and goings of adulthood.

What I didn’t know or understand back then, and actually I’m still learning and gaining a greater perspective on now, is that times were very tough for my family in the early eighties. My Dad was a self-employed businessman. He bought and sold new and used conveyor belts to coal mines, and as the coal business went, so did my family’s financial well-being.

1983 was a very tough year. My Grandfather’s alcohol addiction was in the last stages of consuming his life, and my Dad spent more time helping my Grandmother, both emotionally AND financially, than he did with the business. The first week of December, my Grandfather passed away. Christmas was lean due to dealing with the emotional struggles of losing someone close, and the fact that so much time had been spent away from the business.

1984 came along, and so did the large-scale United Mine Workers of America strike in West Virginia…..primarily against the A.T. Massey Coal Companies and subsidiaries. West Virginia was always the breadbasket of my Dad’s business. When strikes occurred, it crippled his business and our financial well-being for quite some time, and unfortunately, this strike would not be over quickly.

1985 came, and the strike was still on. It wasn’t resolved until late in the year. Too late for lost income to be made up. Several straight years of lean and underwhelming visits from Santa Claus were wearing on my faith in the man.

But then came 1986. The strike had been resolved, and with the mines back in full-time operation, orders poured in from all sides. It was a VERY good year. Not so coincidentally, Santa seemed to fill his sleigh completely just for my family. I guess he was making up for lost time.

That year, I can vividly remember more cakes and candies and goodies being around than any other. While I was pleased by gifts from previous Christmas days, I was totally blown away on that Christmas morning in 1986! The Cobra Terror Drome! The G.I. Joe Tomahawk Helicopter! Tomax & Zamot 2 pack! Grizzlor figure! The Hot Wheels Snake Mountain Challenge Race Track Set! Tonka Steel Monsters Truck! A huge Construx set! A G.I. Joe VHS Tape! Holy Cow!!!

It was like Santa Claus was issuing a huge “I’m sorry” for the previous couple of years, and making it up all in one day. And it wasn’t just me. My brother got a see-thru V8 engine kit, and some other cool stuff. My Mom got our family’s first microwave, a new bed coat, new shoes, a new Aigner purse, and a new Aigner leather coat.

I had always believed in Santa Claus, but 1986 was the year I fully got behind the larger-than-life man. He had come through in a big way and left memories of what was my favorite Christmas season for years….pretty much up until I had kids of my own. I went to school strutting with excitement in anticipation of telling all of my friends what I had gotten for Christmas. I was simply overjoyed.

The years rolled by, and one Christmas after another was really good, but none reached the heights of triumph that 1986 had. It really wasn’t until my later teen years that I learned and thought I finally understood why 1986 had been so magical. The stories I recounted at the beginning of this article came up in conversation every so often. How the early eighties were a really tight time for my family with the business swings and family issues and all. In 1986, my Dad’s business hit its zenith, and he was finally able to give his family the Christmas he had wanted to through those prior years.

Well, that’s it. I was 19 years old, and I had heard the tales and understood why those early Christmas mornings were less than stellar. End of story, have a Merry Christmas.

See, this is how the story has been left and told for the last 16 years of my life. I learned the truth, thought it was cool that when my Dad finally had the chance, he went overboard on us for Christmas, but for all these years, there are other details that he had left out that I didn’t learn until just 3 months ago. Bear with me while I finish this tale.

Where I currently work, there are several people from throughout the community that also ply their trade here. One of the fellows whom I’ll call James so as to keep his identity private, served with my Dad in those early 80’s years in the local Volunteer Fire Department. James and I would sit around during break periods and talk about those old days. Somehow one evening, the conversation turned to Christmas and other holidays. I recounted an abbreviated version of the events above and explained to James how my Dad had finally had a good year and turned into Santa Claus overnight and threw a big Christmas in ’86. James then proceeded to enlighten me to some details I had never been privy to before.

He said that “Santa” was a heck of a man, and just because I may not have gotten a lot of toys and such those years, doesn’t mean that there wasn’t much to go around, it just meant that there were more gifts being given to some folks who maybe needed it a little more than I did.

He piqued my interest and we continued talking and he opened my eyes to so much about those years. He reminded me of the Christmas parties that the Fire Department would host every year. He reminded me that every kid there got a new toy. He said that in those years when the fundraising for the party came in below what was needed, it was my Dad who donated the rest to make sure that every needy child in town got something there and went home happy.

He told me that when the town’s Christmas decorations that were hung from the light poles in town fell apart and needed to be replaced before the holiday season, it was my Dad who went and got a loan against his business to buy them so the town would still have decorations up for the Christmas season, not just that year, but for years to come.

And without any hesitation or embarrassment whatsoever, he told me that there was a year in there that he (James) had had a very rough year financially, and was in a real bind coming up on the holidays. My Dad could sense it, and went to James and asked him if he had the money to give his kids a nice Christmas. James told him that, no, probably not. He said my Dad gave him money to buy his three kids presents. He also bought him a ham and some other food for a Christmas dinner, and that my Dad and my uncle cut and delivered him two loads of firewood to see that he got through the season with heat for his family. He told a few other stories in the same vein of my Dad helping people through the holidays.

I need to tell you right now, I shed a tear listening to James tell me all of these things. For those years as a kid, I may have been selfish and wished for more than I had gotten. As I grew older, I thought I learned the truth and thought my Dad was really cool for making that year of ’86 extra special. But now, all these years later, I learned the rest of the story. I learned that even though I doubted the validity of Santa Claus being real, he IS most definitely alive and well. I learned that the real Santa is a hard-working man who wants the best for his family, but he is also a caring and kind man to everyone else too. He is a humble man, as he never felt the need to talk about all these things he did for people.  And I’m sure that the spirit of Santa Claus lives in many more men than just my own Dad.  

Through these experiences, he has taught me to care for others, and he has taught me love. Heck, all the things I mentioned in the article I wrote last Christmas about all the great things my Dad gave us each year were inspired by the Christmas of ’86, and at the time of writing, I had no idea just how far-reaching his Christmas spirit carried.  

It may have taken 37 years now to learn the lesson to this degree, but I go into this coming Christmas season with a newfound outlook and a new attitude. I hope you get something from this story to take with you, and I hope THIS is the most wonderful and magical Christmas of your years.

Two Great Christmas Specials from 1987

Posted on by
Reply

What a year it was for new Christmas specials! 1987 saw the debut of the much loved Garfield Christmas Special, AND the less heralded, but just as awesome, Claymation Christmas Celebration.

These two specials debuted on December 21st 1987. Compared to today, it’s really unique that they waited until that close to Christmas to air them. Like this year, the annual showings of Rudolph and Frosty were in November. I’m not a fan of that. Christmas specials shouldn’t start airing until late in the first week of December at the earliest. Unless we’re talking about the 25 Days of Christmas on Freeform. I love that shit.

I distinctly remember watching these debuting specials on that night. I was really into The California Raisins at the time, and always being a fan of the Garfield comic strips, this was appointment television for me. I even distinctly remember recording both shows on VHS. If I only still had that tape. Sigh.

This is a great example of what I miss about the old days of television…anticipation. With the modern world of streaming, it doesn’t quite feel the same. Seeing an ad like this in TV Guide, and keeping it on your brain until the day it aired is an art lost on children of today. And with so many fewer options back then, stuff like this was widely viewed by the public in general. That meant that you and your friends at school would get giddy together waiting for the day, and then after it aired you knew it was going to be the topic of conversation before school and at lunchtime. Stuff like this were shared experiences. I’m willing to bet that a whole lot of you reading this can relate stories about seeing this as an example of what I’m talking about.

If you’re interested in seeing these classics again, there are a couple of options. The Garfield Christmas Special is streaming on Amazon for Prime members but is also free on Tubi as well as free on YouTube. The Claymation Christmas Special is a little more obscure. You can pick up a DVD copy of it that also includes Halloween and Easter Specials for just $20 bucks. Or if you’re willing to sit through a lot of ads, there is a playlist on YouTube with all the segments that you can watch through.

Highlights From the 1988 Sears Christmas Wish Book

Posted on by

Christmas is coming up quickly, so I thought it would be a good time to open up an old Sears Christmas Wish Book and relive some great old memories from the past.   I’m going back in time to 1988 with that year’s edition of the Wish Book to pick out some of the cool toys I wanted.

I was 10 years old in 1988, so it was right at that perfect time of still being into toys, but at the same time, starting to have an eye towards some gifts that were a little more “grown-up”.  The 1988 edition of the Wish Book was loaded with so much cool stuff, and I want to share some of them with you in this edition of Retro Ramblings.

G.I. Joe Locker Bag Kit

Oh my goodness!  If you’ve got to start a personal grooming habit as a young man, what better way to do it than with G.I. Joe?!?  This kit has everything a 10-year-old young man would need too.  G.I. Joe approved toothbrush and toothpaste (ADA be damned), mini soap with its own case to keep it from getting all slimy, a brush and comb for whatever stylish ‘do you are sporting, and a cup to go along with that toothcare set.  To top it all off, there is a small pocket-size pack of tissue to take with you wherever you go, and a cool ass locker bag to store it all in.  You would be the envy of your fellow gym mates if you walked into a locker room with that bag slung over your shoulder.  And on top of all of that, how cool would it be to see this puppy hanging up in your bathroom at home.  It would almost make coming in from playing outside to get cleaned up enjoyable.  Almost. 

Rock Tumbler

This rock tumbler is still my holy grail of never gotten Christmas gifts.  I circled this thing in every Wish Book from as far back as I can remember all the way up through the early nineties.  Never once did I find it waiting for me under the tree at Christmas.  I had all these dreams about using it to start a profitable business making gemstone jewelry and price gouging the other kids at school.  Just yesterday I was out doing a little shopping and had to make a stop at Hobby Lobby.  I’m browsing the aisles and minding my own business when I turn a corner and BAM!  There’s a display full of Rock Tumblers!  I couldn’t believe my luck.  After all these years I could finally have one of my very own.  But then I saw the price tag.  $119.99.  Are they serious?  How is anyone supposed to turn a profit on cheap gemstone jewelry with overhead like that?  Not this old boy, no sir.  I’ll just have to continue to circle this thing in every catalog I come across hoping one day to be gifted one. 

Slot-less “Slot” Car Track

Now here we go!  I am an old slot car fiend from way back, and this track just looks awesome.  Now I know it doesn’t have all the cool twists, turns, loops, and the other bells and whistles that various other slot car tracks have, but it has one feature that one-ups all of those.  Do you see any actual slots on this track?  Nope, not a single one.  That’s because you have to steer these cars yourself.  There’s no slot to guide you on your way or to keep you from slamming into your opponent.  You have to have the skill to avoid, or ram, your opponent yourself.  That makes this track set so awesome.  I can totally see myself mimicking “The Intimidator” Dale Earnhardt and “rattling some cages’ to put other racers in the wall….or cheap plastic guard rail as the case may be here. 

Now while I never did get an awesome slot-less track, I DID actually get the slot car track above.  It was a pretty badass track in its own right though.  I thought the lap counter was just the coolest feature I had seen on a track before.  You could set it to however many laps you wanted to run (up to 50 I think), and then the first car to clock that many laps would have a little winner’s flag pop up on their timer.  I’m pretty sure I got the track for Christmas ’88, so there is a very good chance it was ordered from this very catalog. 

LEGO Sets

LEGO was really my cup of tea throughout my whole childhood.  Heck, my kids still play with all my old LEGOs even today.  Luckily, it was one of the toys my Mom kept for all those years.  Some of the pieces still in my childhood collection come from that Hospital pictured at the top of the page.  It was a pretty cool set as it gave you a building to add to your LEGO city. 

But while that was cool, it’s the bottom two sets that really get my motor running.  First of all, that Truck Stop is just dripping with manliness.  If you had this set as a kid, you probably grew chest hair before all you’re friends who didn’t have it.  With two rigs and a big rig wrecker, you were ready for some heavy hauling.  And when the hours got too long, you could pull into the truck stop itself for a hot cup of Joe.  Life couldn’t be much sweeter.  Since my Dad drove some big trucks like these, this thing was on my list for a couple of years.  I had to make do with creating my own versions though.  Since I never had it, it’s going on my list again. 

To finish it off, there is the Super Speedway.  My old man picked me up the small version of this one at some point.  It had only one base plate though instead of two, and only two race cars instead of the four pictured here. My small set was super fun, so I can only imagine how much fun this mammoth set would have been. 

Nintendo Games

How could any self-respecting kid not just circle the entire page?  Do you see the selection of games just ready for the taking?  And this is only one of a two-page spread! Even though a kid can’t restrain themselves, as an adult, I can.  That, and I don’t have the space or time right now to write about every game on the page, so I just circled a select few. 

A couple of my absolute favorite games featured on this page are Castlevania 2:  Simon’s Quest and Pro Wrestling!  I had gotten Pro Wrestling the night I got my Nintendo, and I saved my allowance for what felt like forever and bought Simon’s Quest.  So to narrow this list down a little further, let’s just go with the rest.  There’s RC Pro-Am, Rad Racer, Ghosts and Goblins, and the legendary Legend of Zelda.  Those are some hall of fame titles right there.  And I’m sure every game on the page has its hardcore fans, making this a page with probably more circles than any other in the whole catalog.  Back in this time period, if you were a kid whose parents had any means whatsoever, you generally found a new Nintendo game under your tree.  I know I was fortunate enough to find one most years, and any of these games I had circled would have entertained me for the rest of Christmas break. 

Now from this page, I’ve circled several of the ones I really want.  You’ve got the all-time classics Contra and ExciteBike, the much-adored Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out, and the underrated Goonies II.  But the one on this page that would really pique my interest is Tag Team Wrestling.  Pro Wrestling is one of my all-time favorite games for the console, so I really want to give this game a go. 

You really couldn’t go wrong getting any of the games on either of these pages for Christmas.  Let’s face it, a Christmas day spent playing a new Nintendo game was going to be one hell of a day regardless of what the title was. 

Merlin the Magician Magic Kit

I’ve probably talked about it before on here somewhere, but I’ve been fascinated with magic ever since I saw Lance Campbell perform in the 4th-grade talent show at school.  Matter of fact, a lot of the tricks he performed can be found in this very set.  They may even be a good chance that this is the set he used in the show. 

Regardless, this thing is full of cool tricks that would amaze your friends.  That is if your friends are eight years old.  But if I had this thing, I’d force my kids to sit on the couch and pretend to be amazed at the astounding acts of magic I was performing. 

Willow Toys

When the movie Willow hit, I was all about it.  Even though I never saw it in the theater, I was hooked by the trailers alone.  Well, that and those cool Willow Magicups that came in Wendy’s kid’s meals as part of the promotion for the movie. 

Even though I hadn’t seen the movie at the time, I would have LOVED to have all of these toys.  I’m a sucker for fantasy realms and their toys, so these look like they’re right up my alley.  The only problem I see with them is that they don’t appear to be articulated.  I still like the idea of setting them up in battle settings, but it would be even cooler if you could “play” with them. 

Micro Machines Toys

If you know anything about me at all, then you should know that I simply adore Micro Machines.  I have ever since the day Marcus Callis showed up at school with a pocket full of the little things.  It only took a few moments of marveling over them to know that I wanted some of my own.  And while I had my fair share of the cars, I was always enamored with the play sets that were available for them.  There are a couple of the small playsets pictured at the top of the page, and those were the ones that you could connect together to make much larger sets, construction a whole town or small city if you had enough of them.  Let’s go ahead and put both of those on my list. 

There’s also the Micro Machines Transport Truck pictured.  I had it once upon a time, and it was great as a carrying case that you could also play with.  It would hold 11 cars, so it was a nice option to tote along when I was heading to Grandma’s house for the day. 

Playmobil

Oh, how I loved Playmobil toys.  Especially their western-themed sets like this.  It seemed like I only ever got Playmobil toys at Christmas, and usually only from aunts and uncles at the annual family Christmas party.  I had a lot of the cowboys and Indian-themed sets, and the toys shown above just go right along with them. 

That train would be awesome, but it came with a very hefty $219.99 price tag.  That’s $462.00 in today’s money!  That sucker was one expensive toy.  But it does look really cool, and I know from experience that Playmobil toys were as durable as they came. 

Besides the train, there is the Western Station which comes with 8 figures!  It has a big price tag on it too though.  Anyway, I’m going to just circle this entire page and hope for the best. 

Marvel Comics Pack

You’d always find listings like these every year in the wish books for things like comics, baseball cards, stamps, and other collectibles, but this collection right here looks astounding!  This pack is brimming with cool 80’s properties.  I can see ALF, Willow, GI Joe, Silver Hawks, and even Transformers comics.  Those alone would probably make the pack worth the price of admission, but then you throw in the classic Marvel titles like Avengers, Hulk, Thor, Spider-man, Fantastic Four, and Iron Man and you’ve got yourself a super fun way to spend a few afternoons. 

PXL 2000 Deluxe Video Camera

And this my friends, is one of the coolest Christmas gifts I ever received.  This thing was a real, honest-to-goodness, video camera designed for kids.  But the really unique thing was that this camera recorded onto cassette tapes.  Don’t ask me how.  The description says it records a unique black-and-white image called Pixelvision, with sound.  I remember it having decent quality on playback, and the whole thing was really easy to set up and use.  I sure wish I still had the tapes I recorded with it, as I would set it up and record myself dancing to 1989 hip-hop tracks.  I’m sure that would be a sight to see today. 

Whew. That just covered a lot of ground, but in truth, I could fill this blog with nothing but things I want from this 1988 catalog. We better cut it off here before I overload the server.

Time Capsule: 1986 M.U.S.C.L.E. Toys Catalog

Posted on by
Reply

Here are scans of the M.U.S.C.L.E. toys lineup as featured in the 1986 Mattel Toy Catalog.  Intended for retailers, Mattel’s dealer catalogs showcased all the latest and greatest releases, along with existing products within its various current (at the time) toy lines.  These are great photos of some of my favorites toys from the past.  Hope you enjoy them as well! 

When you’re done here, you should also check out the 1986 Masters of the Universe Catalog, and the complete 1988 Toys ‘R’ Us Christmas Sale paper. Let’s get onto the scans!

Continue reading →

Time Capsule: 1986 Masters of the Universe Catalog

Posted on by
Reply

Presented complete, and in all it’s glory, here is the Masters of the Universe section of the 1986 Mattel Retailers catalog. It features almost every toy from the line, presented in some of the most stunning photos you’ll ever see of the figures and play sets.

Continue reading →

McDonald’s McD.L.T.

Posted on by
Reply

The McDonald’s McDLT gets mentioned on its fair share of fondly remembered food lists and for good reason. Of all the great, and horrible, things to ever grace the menu of McDonald’s, the McDLT was one of the best items they created. I was a fan during its all-to-brief run in the ’80s, and it’s the subject of this edition of Retro Ramblings.

McDonald’s McD.L.T. was a burger similar in size to Burger King’s Whopper sandwich and featured mostly the same ingredients. A quarter-pound beef patty, lettuce, tomato, mayo, cheese, pickles, and ketchup on a toasted sesame seed bun. The beauty of the McDLT though was its packaging. It came in one of McDonald’s signature styrofoam containers. But this one was slightly different from all the rest, as it featured two separate compartments instead of one. 

On one side, the bottom bun and burger patty rested, while on the other were the rest of the toppings and the top bun. This allowed the hot parts to remain separate from the cold parts until you were ready to put it together and eat. And that was the brilliance of it all. A fresh-tasting McDLT when the hot patty met the cold toppings.  What I could never figure out though, was why the slice of cheese was included on the cold side.  To me, it would have made much more sense to put it on top of the patty on the hot side so it could get all melty.  But apparently, I’m not a genius like the burger builders at McDonald’s. 

It was released in the early ’80s to much fanfare but was eventually pulled in 1990 due to pressure from environmental groups protesting their use of polystyrene containers. Once the divided container was gone, so was the magic of the McDLT. It was later re-released as the Big ‘n’ Tasty burger, but without the separated ingredients, the burger fell flat. 

When I first discovered it as a kid, I was at the age where I was getting a little old for Happy Meals and found the McDLT to be a perfectly acceptable replacement for it. I’m guessing it was basically the novelty of it that turned me on to it, but it was a great burger in its own right so that kept me coming back for more. 

As a side note, McDonald’s lost a little luster to me with the fall of those original foam containers. Each container was a different color to represent what was held inside, and even the McNuggets had a little compartment built-in to hold the sauce cup. I understand the environmental impact and agree with the decision to stop using them, but dang, they looked cool, and figure prominently in my memories of McDonald’s and childhood in general.

The timing of the fall of the McDLT kind of lines up perfectly with my ascent to a teenager from childhood.  Maybe that’s why it holds such a special place in my memories, and why I miss it so damn much. 

Oatmeal Swirlers

Posted on by
Reply

For this edition of Retro Ramblings, we’re jumping in the time machine to revisit another junk food lost love of mine. We’re going to take a look at one of the more interesting breakfast foods of the late ’80s and early ’90s…Oatmeal Swirlers. Do you remember this? It seems like the split between people who remember it, and those who don’t is 50/50. If you remember it, enjoy this trip down memory lane. If you don’t remember it, get ready for a quick education.

I was very fortunate that my Mom didn’t work when I was growing up. My Dad made a good living and she was able to stay at home and raise us kids for the most part. At two different points, she took jobs and only worked for 6 weeks at each, so for 99% of my childhood, she was always home. This meant that every morning before school, she was up early and made a home-cooked breakfast for the family. Most days that consisted of eggs and toast, or biscuits and gravy, and sometimes her home-cooked oatmeal. 

On the rare occasion when she or one of us had something going on early, she would turn to something quick like frozen pancakes or waffles, or cereal. My favorite of the quick breakfast options however was instant oatmeal. I loved Quaker Maple Brown Sugar Instant Oatmeal. It was a staple of my breakfast diet then, and it still is now. No other instant oatmeal could touch it in my eyes. That is until I first saw a commercial for General Mills’ Oatmeal Swirlers. 

It was instant oatmeal that came with a squeeze pack of what I guess would be best described as jelly. You could squeeze out smiley faces, or words, or even play tic tac toe with the pack. It was awesome. When this stuff hit the market it took instant oatmeal to a whole new level. 

While I don’t even faintly remember how it tasted, I do remember how much fun breakfast was on those mornings. I can remember almost being excited about going to bed on those nights when I knew that Oatmeal Swirlers was going to be for breakfast the next day. Sadly, like so many other favorite foods of my youth, this one bit the dust far too early. For a long time after it vanished from the shelves, I missed it terribly. Time went on and other breakfast novelties came along to take its place, but it certainly left its mark on me to this day I wish I could pick up another box of this stuff and share it with the kiddos. 

Now, some people will tell you that you can duplicate the magic yourself using various kinds of oatmeal and jellies. But I disagree. The magic was how it all came together. The low-quality oatmeal, the over-sweet “jelly” in its plastic pouch, and the simple, yet beautiful design of the box. You can’t replicate shit like that. I’m not even going to try.

Oatmeal Swirlers
Oatmeal Swirlers
Oatmeal Swirlers
Oatmeal Swirlers

    Highlights From a 1988 Toys ‘R’ Us Sale Paper

    Posted on by
    2

    On this week’s episode of The Retro Network Podcast, Jason and I scoured through an old Toys ‘R’ Us sale paper from 1988. Even at just sixteen pages, the thing was loaded with all kinds of cool toys from the past. You can listen to us salivate over everything in the ad on the show, but here are five things from it that I want to highlight in this edition of Retro Ramblings.

    Army Gear Playsets from Galoob

    Until we recorded the show, I was completely unaware of the existence of these incredible looking toys. They’re kind of like Transformers in that they’re two distinct toys in one. Like the M-16…you could play with it as a machine gun while running around chasing the neighbor kids, but you could also open it up into a playset for the Combat Troops.

    Besides the M-16, it looks like there was also a flashlight that transformed into an air defense station, a watch that transformed into some kind of missile base, and a pistol that turned into a 3-level silo…and they had sounds!

    Not to mention the combat troops themselves which you would obviously need to ramp up the fun with the playsets. And for just $3.99 you got ten good guys and ten bad guys to battle it out. This is a line I’m going to have to look into further.

    Bone Age from Kenner

    Way back when, well I guess in 1988 as it turns out, I saw commercials for what I thought were pretty cool-looking toys. I never ended up having any of them, and they gradually slipped from my mind until just a few years ago. I searched high and low for a name for the toy line with no luck. Then I did what I should have done in the first place. I turned to Twitter for the answer and got it pretty quickly. Bone Age.

    I had been enamored with the “vehicles” and the like from the line, and still am today. So when we flipped the page in the sale paper and happened upon these things, I was ecstatic. These aren’t even the best representations of the toys in the line. It wouldn’t fit this post if I started adding images from other sources, so you’ll just have to google them yourselves.

    But the gist is that you’ve got these big skeleton dinosaurs and the cavemen that ride on them I guess. But some of the other toys in the line are net launchers and other such fancy weapons. Maybe the coolest thing about them was that you got to put the dinosaur skeletons together before you played with them, adding another layer of fun to the toy.

    Crossfire from Milton Bradley

    Raise your hand if you remember the badass commercial promoting this game. I can’t really see if you’re raising your hand or not, but if I could, and you weren’t raising your hand, I would pretend I didn’t see it out of pity for you. That commercial kicked seven kinds of ass and had more ass lined up down the street waiting to be kicked.

    Besides Fireball Island, Crossfire may be the most fondly remembered board game from the era. It was pretty simple, as you and your opponent both were equipped with guns that shot small ball bearings across the surface of the board. You had to use those ball bearings to knock a couple of pucks into your opponent’s trench. At the same time, you had to keep your opponent from knocking them into your trench.

    This game was just so much fun. It usually went quickly with someone winning after just a few minutes, but what a few minutes it was. Your hand would get sore from pulling the trigger so many times in just a short span. And loud. Holy crap was this a loud game to play with the ball bearings bouncing off the plastic sides of the game board at high speeds. I’m sure a fair number of parents second-guessed their decision to buy this for their kids.

    G.I. Joe Toys from Hasbro

    As you already know, G.I. Joe was my bag back in the ’80s. I had more than my fair share of Joes, Cobras, vehicles, and playsets, and I loved every one of them.

    One of the bigger pieces I had was this Mobile Command center pictured on the left side of the image. That thing was massive with its three levels that would fold out. And when it was closed up, it actually rolled along. As Jason said on the pod, it looked like a sand crawler from Star Wars.

    But the playset was filled with every kind of nook and cranny you needed. There was a jail cell for captured Cobras, a command center, gun turrets, missile launchers, and even a “trap door” that would allow the Joes to slide down from the top level to the ground in somewhat of a quick deployment mechanism.

    I never had any hands-on experience with any of the other vehicles pictured in the ad, but I did have the Road Pig figure pictured in the set. He was instantly one of my favorite figures and was the resident badass on the Cobra side of things. He and Sgt. Slaughter went on to have numerous knock-down, drag-out battles in my bedroom.

    Nintendo Games from Various

    I never get tired of looking at old Nintendo game ads. Whether singular titles or ads like this featuring a glut of gaming goodness. Nintendo was the undisputed king of playtime in this era, and these games are the reason.

    I see several that I actually owned featured in this ad. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Double Dribble, Contra, Defender of the Crown, and my all-time favorite game for the system, Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest.

    Blades of Steel always piqued my interest, but I never got to play it. Bayou Billy had a lot of hype around it if I remember correctly, but I never was around it either. Skate or Die was a perennial favorite of my best friend Geoffrey so I got to dabble with it a little bit too. But like I said, these games were the reason Nintendo was king, and I don’t even know if I could figure up all the hours I spent on the games I mentioned above.

    So that’s just a little sampling from the sixteen pages of awesome that was the Toys ‘R’ Us sale paper that Jason and I covered on The Retro Network Podcast. You can give it a listen to hear us talk about everything in it and share old memories. Before you give it a listen though, you can view the entire 16-page ad here.

    Dr. Pepper Gum

    Posted on by
    Reply

    In the late ’80s, we were drowning in a sea of gum choices as kids. In those days, gum still came in packs of trading cards, it came all shredded in a pouch meant to resemble chewing tobacco, heck….it even came in a round stick wrapped in paper to mimic cigarettes! 

    But a new fad hit the shelves when bubble gum with liquid centers hit the market. I don’t recall what the first gum was to showcase the new feature, but I DO remember the first one to make a “splash”, and it was Dr. Pepper gum. It was a simple concept. It was gum that tasted like Dr. Pepper, with a liquid center that also tasted like Dr. Pepper. What a concept. 

    As a kid in those days, one of the few things your life revolved around was soda and all of a sudden we had a gum that tasted like soda! Life couldn’t get much better. For those of you who have read my previous articles, you’ll know that my parents rarely felt the need to buy into gimmicks or fads, but when it came to this gum, they were both happy to pay for a pack of it whenever I would throw it up on the checkout counter. 

    Continue reading →

    Tetris for Nintendo

    Posted on by
    1

    We all know the story of this game. Several different odd-shaped blocks fall from the top of the board, and you had to rotate them, move them left or right to get them to drop into position to complete a line and make it go away. If you weren’t quick enough or smart enough to do that on a consistent basis, your board would be full and your game would be over.
    My first experience with the game came with the launch of the Game Boy.  A local department store had the Game Boy demo set up in their electronics department.  Every weekend while my mother would do her shopping, I killed time playing Tetris on the demo machine.  It wasn’t long until I had enough money saved up to buy the game for the NES, and then a much bigger, and full-color version of the game was mine.

    It was so simple of a game, even an adult could play it too!  And that’s exactly what happened at my house, and why this game is so high up the list. My father never would play video games. He didn’t even like to sit and watch me play a game. So when he saw how easy Tetris was, he wanted to give it a try. For months afterward, we would play it together, seeing who could get the highest score and the most completed lines. He would even be the one most times to suggest us playing. Those times spent with my Dad, doing something that I loved are ones that I’ll never forget, and Tetris gets a high spot on my all-time list because of it.

    Wax Pack Flashback: Operation Desert Shield Cards (1991)

    Posted on by
    Reply

    Here is another old Wax Pack Flashback video I did for the TRNTV Youtube channel. In this one, I open an old pack of Operation Desert Shield trading cards from 1991. I was fascinated by the thoughts of these cards when I saw them on store shelves back when they were new. I never picked any up though because there were other cards that I was more interested in and only had so much allowance money to go around. But I found some unopened packs on eBay for cheap and finally got to quench my cravings from all those years ago. You can watch the video below and live vicariously through me as I flip through the cards in the pack.