I dabbled in more toy lines than I could count as a kid. Transformers, G.I. Joe, He-Man…you name it, I probably had at least one figure rolling around in a shoebox under my bed. But one of the lesser-known lines, one that didn’t come with cartoon tie-ins or elaborate playsets, ended up being one of my absolute favorites. I’m talking about M.U.S.C.L.E. Men. Those tiny pink warriors, no taller than a matchbox, were a cornerstone of my childhood.
They weren’t just toys. They were a whole world packed into two inches of molded rubber. The line started in Japan as a manga called Kinnikuman, which was so popular it spawned an anime series about intergalactic professional wrestling. That’s right, wrestling from outer space. Bandai began producing the figures overseas, and when Mattel caught wind of the craze, they brought the line to the United States in 1985. They gave it a name that sounded like it came straight from a Saturday morning cereal box: M.U.S.C.L.E., short for “Millions of Unusual Creatures Lurking Everywhere.”
And lurk they did. These little guys were everywhere. You could find them in blister packs hanging near the register at the local five-and-dime, or stuffed ten-deep in a clear plastic trash can that looked like it belonged under a desk. That trash can pack was the holy grail. Ten figures for three bucks. For a kid with a light allowance and big dreams, it was a ticket to glory.
They weren’t poseable. They didn’t have accessories. Most of them didn’t even have names. But they had character. One had a motorcycle for a torso. Another looked like a bodybuilder with the head of a wild boar. There was a guy shaped like a pyramid, and another who looked like he’d been stitched together from spare parts. Each one was a mystery, a riddle wrapped in pink rubber. And they were wrestlers, which meant they were born to battle.
Of course, the battles were imaginary, until the Hard Knockin’ Rockin’ Ring Wrestling Arena came along. That little yellow-orange contraption was a game-changer. It had rubber band ropes and a plastic arm that held your chosen warrior. You and a friend would face off, each controlling a figure, trying to knock the other off his perch like a pint-sized Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robot. The trick was to find a figure whose body was just a little too big for the controller. Jam him in there, and he became an immovable force. My best friend and I played for keeps. The winner got to claim the loser’s figure. Our collections grew and shrank like the tides, depending on who had the upper hand that day.
What made M.U.S.C.L.E. Men so special wasn’t just the battles or the weird designs. It was their portability. You could stuff a handful in each pocket and take the action with you to school, grandma’s house, and the backseat of the car. They were always ready. And they were cheap. Four figures for a dollar meant you didn’t have to wait for Christmas or a birthday. You could walk into a store with a buck and walk out with a new squad of warriors.
They faded from shelves by 1988, but their impact stuck with me. Even now, I get a kick out of the newer versions based on Masters of the Universe and Street Fighter. But nothing beats the originals. They were strange, simple, and endlessly fun. If you remember them, you know what I mean. And if you don’t, well, you missed out on one of the greatest toy lines to ever come in a trash can.
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Thump Wars, anyone? I couldn’t be the only (grown-up) kid with this memory. Everyone in school had these, and I remember sitting on the ground outside of school before class started every day playing ‘Thump Wars’. We also played it at home & at summer camps, etc – wherever you were stuck with other kids for any length of time. We all had them in our pockets, and some kids kept them in little baggies – I kept mine in a crown royal bag (for the extra flair and aura). HOW TO PLAY: 2 kids setup their M.U.S.C.L.E. army in a grouping (usually pretty close together in a 1 foot circle, and both armies are about 1-2 foot apart, both armies ‘facing’ each other. Both armies had the same number of M.U.S.C.L.E. in them. Each kid picks a ‘Thumper’ as their champion, proceeds to ‘coin-flip’ it into the air, and whichever lands face-up that player goes first (re-flip if both or neither are face up). The winner of the flip places their champion next to (but NOT in front of) their army, and the loser places theirs somewhere in or behind their army (the best protected placement they could think of – sometimes they would put it several feet behind, hoping you couldn’t thump yours that far). The winner of the flip flicks (usually with an index or middle finger) their champion towards the other player’s army (like the motion of flicking someone’s ear). Whatever gets knocked down is set aside as being ‘out of the game’. If the champion gets knocked down, it’s an automatic win for the player who knocked them down (hence why you wanted to shield them). Play goes back and forth until the champion is knocked out, or until all M.U.S.C.L.E. are knocked out at once. In some circles, we would play for keeps, & there were different rules for this. One version was that if you win, you get to keep the other persons Champion, or some kids preferred to offer up one of their other M.U.S.C.L.E. instead (keeping their cherished champion). One version was that every time you knocked down anything, you would claim them & added them to your standing army – this style was BRUTAL, as it was really easy to lose most or all of your M.U.S.C.L.E. and never get them back (it also became increasing difficult to knock-down their champion, as the massive hoard protected them). I remember days where I would come home with my Crown Royal bag filled to the brim & my pockets bulging with my winnings (other days went the other way, and I had to give up games before losing everything, going home with a nearly empty bag). They were cheap toys, but we were pretty poor, so it was a rare event that we’d be treated to something from the toy store, but when we did get something it almost always was M.U.S.C.L.E. for a few glorious years. Let me know if you were one of the THUMP WAR veterans! I’d love to hear your stories.
I never played this way, and matter of fact, have never even heard of it. But sounds fun!
I wouldn’t mind restarting my collection !
WOW. I still have like 6-7 of them. These were one of my favorite! Never had the ring but mom helped me make my own with a woman’s large square boot boot box, chop sticks, and butcher twine! I think an older cousin gave a bunch -(my starter kit) but by the time I want to get more they were hard to find. K-Mart would randomly get them in had to be 89-90.
I love stories like this! While I was fortunate enough to get the ring for MUSCLE, I didn’t have one for pitting my G.I. Joes in combat against each other. My dad took apart an old Rock em Sock em Robots ring and redid it to be a wrestling ring for G.I. Joe. I believe that ring got more play time than any other toy I ever owned.
There was a store I used to go to, called Winn’s in the eighties, my mom used to buy me a pack of MUSCLES every week, along with an ICEE and some popcorn. I had a bunch of the multiple colored ones, purple, red etc. My favorites were the one who had a hammer looking head, the main heel with horns, the pyramid, I think his name is something like Mr Sunshine,and the extra small figure with the cape. Years later, I found the entire Kinnikuman collection from Japan for 250 which had hundreds of figures and a DVD booklet, it was missing the DVD’s but that made it cheaper. There’s a GameCube Videogame that released, along with a PS2 game here in the states, and in Japan, there’s 2 ps2 games instead of just one. There was an amine that used to come out on the Fox Box I think it was called ??? 🤔 Pretty funny show, it was based on the next generation of MUSCLES. I always wanted that Championship belt and the ring, maybe one day I’ll get them🤞
Loved these so much as a kid! Never had the ring or belt though. Id love to repurchase the whole set now. Do you have a recommendation for where to purchase them online? I’ve seen some scattered across eBay and mixed in with other similar Bandai figures that aren’t the official M.U.S.C.L.E. figures.
I really have no idea where to find the originals outside of eBay.
Had a bunch of these at one point, but must have got rid of them because I can’t find any of them anymore. Hoping they will still turn up at some point because I have good memories of playing with them,