Old Junk Foods I Missed Out On

I’ve spent a lot of time and web space talking about all of the old junk foods that I loved through the years, but rarely do I ever stop to talk about the ones that got away. The junk foods that I just totally missed out on, but look so darn good that I know I would have been a fan of them. So let me quit wasting our time, and get on with it so you can see the goods.


Slush Puppie Bubble Gum

All through the ’80s, Slush Puppies were one of my absolute favorite treats. There was a convenience store in town that had a Slush Puppie machine, and for a while, it seemed like I got one at least once a week. Slush Puppies always had a full, vibrant flavor, and I wonder if that translated to this gum. I also wonder how long the flavor lasted. Was it like normal bubble gum and had some life to it or was it like Fruit Stripe and the flavor would disappear rather quickly? I do like the fact that the gum pieces were in the shape of a dog’s paw. That’s a nice touch.

Fruit & Creme Twinkies

How in the hell I missed out on this treat I’ll never know. Twinkies have always been one of my go-to snacks throughout the years. Even today I eat the regular ones on occasion and always pick up the new or limited edition flavors to try. So having a Twinkie that not only featured the traditional cream center but also added a fruit flavor swirled with it would have been something that certainly caught my eye. All I can think of was that these weren’t readily available in my area. Judging by the expiration date on the coupon these were out in the late ’80s, and according to The Retroist, they made a brief return in 2011. I missed them both times, and apparently haven’t been living my best life.

Long John Silver’s Peg Legs

Let’s take a break from sweets for a moment to focus on something savory. Growing up, my family ate more than our fair share of Long John Silvers. It was almost routine that we would end up there for dinner on Sunday afternoons because my dad was such a big fan of their fish. I always got their chicken planks, but never once did I get to try these chicken peg legs. Different from the boneless tenders, these were whole chicken legs that were coated with Long John Silver’s famous batter and fried. So what you ended up with wasn’t a traditional fried chicken leg like you would get at Kentucky Fried Chicken with its secret blend of eleven herbs and spices, but a batter-dipped chicken leg that I can only imagine tasted like heaven on the bone.

Keebler Mini Middles Cookies

Not only did I miss out on getting to try these, but I also didn’t even know they once existed until I started the post. Actually, I hadn’t even conceived of this post until I ran across some images for these things. I was well aware of the existence of the full-size Magic Middle cookies and loved those things to death. I’ll go into detail about original Magic Middles cookies at some point in the future, but right now let’s just focus on these Mini Middles.

So I guess these were just bite-sized versions of regular Magic Middles, and somehow that sounds even better than the version I’m familiar with. I can imagine opening the box and popping these things in my mouth by the handful. If they truly featured the same soft chocolatey goodness in the middle of them as their larger cousins, I know they would have been awesome.

WWF Superstars Ice Cream Bars

Being a huge wrestling fan growing up, I used to see the commercials for these things all the time and just drool over them. My problem was that they were never available anywhere around me. The local convenience stores didn’t have them, the local grocery stores didn’t carry them, and the lone ice cream truck that would come around didn’t have them either.

I was stuck in the position of wanting them badly, but just never getting to experience one. That’s true still to this day as well. But I’d love to try one as the ice cream itself looks spectacular. The vanilla ice cream with the chocolate coating on the back, and the cookie on the front with actual WWF Superstars emblazed on them would have just made my day back then. I love where I live, but sometimes I curse it as being out in the sticks had its drawbacks when it came to stuff like this.


So once again here on Retro Ramblings I’ve talked about food. This time though I didn’t get to fondly remember the great taste of some exciting treat, but rather, lament the fact that there were good-looking snacks out there in the world that I never got to try. If you’re into old junk food like I am, check out all of the treats I’ve covered by hitting the Junk Food tag, and if you want to see more things I had to do without in my childhood, check out the posts Toys I Never Had and More Toys I Never Had.

And by all means, if you remember any of this stuff and got to try it, leave a comment and tell me what some of these goodies were like!

Weekend Reading 07/10/22

Every weekend, I like to share a curated list of retro & nostalgia-themed articles, stories, and posts that I’ve come across in the last week. It gives you a chance to escape the daily grind, and just sit back and pass the time reading about the good old days. So with that in mind, here are some things I wanted to share with you this week.

News

Retro & Nostalgia Articles & Posts

Extra

Over at The Retro Network, we recently wrapped up our Summer Camp 2022 event. As part of the event, we hosted a writing contest. There were many great entries, and you should check them all out here. But I wanted to present the three prize-winning entries here for your enjoyment.

Re-Watching SummerSlam ’98

Being a big fan of old-school wrestling, I sometimes go back in time and old wrestling shows via the WWE Network on Peacock. Over the holiday weekend, nostalgia got the better of me and I decided to go back and re-watch what I remember being a great summer-themed show, WWE’s SummerSlam ’98.

In 1998, the then WWF was in the middle of its Attitude Era, and the storylines and action leaned more towards the controversial than it had in previous years. As an example, it was just two short months prior to this event that The Undertaker threw Mankind off the top of the Hell in a Cell cage in a scene that is still held up as a symbol of the Attitude Era.

I have to admit, I was guilty of enjoying trashy, crash-style television at the time including Jerry Springer, the WWF, and other offerings. I watched Monday Night Raw religiously every week and caught every PPV event the WWF offered, so I was pumped heading into this event. SummerSlam is one of the traditional big four events of the year, so extra emphasis was put on this show.

Most of the hype for SummerSlam ’98 was centered on the rivalry between “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and The Undertaker, and with the World Heavyweight Championship being on the line in the main event, the hype was off the charts. They even produced a pretty swank video package set to AC/DC’s Highway to Hell to hype it even more:

Just because they put a lot of effort into hyping the main event didn’t mean they ignored the rest of the card. Vince McMahon, Vince Russo, and the rest of the gang put together a solid card from top-to-bottom with plenty of intrigue throughout:

  • WWF World Title: “Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker
  • WWF Intercontinental Title Ladder Match: The Rock vs. Triple H
  • WWF Tag-Team Title Falls Count Anywhere Match: Mankind & Kane vs. The New Age Outlaws
  • Lion’s Den Match: Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart
  • Mixed Tag Team Match: Sable & Edge vs. Marc Mero & Jackie
  • Hair vs. Hair Match: X-Pac vs. “Double J” Jeff Jarrett
  • 4-on-3 Tag Match: Kaientai vs. The Oddities
  • WWF European Title Match: D-Lo Brown vs. Val Venis

I don’t intend to run down every match detail by detail, nor do I intend to give you the winner in every match either. If I did all of that, it wouldn’t leave you much incentive to go check it out for yourself. Instead, what I intend to do is kind of review it through a few lists I came up with while watching. So without further ado, here we go.

The Five Best Matches From SummerSlam ’98

In my own personal opinion of course.

  1. The Rock vs. Triple H Intercontinental Title Ladder Match – it featured plenty of drama, high-risk moves with the ladder, and a satisfying ending to not only the match itself, but the storyline that had been running for months involving Degeneration X feuding with the Nation of Domination.
  2. D-Lo Brown vs. Val Venis European Title Match – Even though this was the show opening match and it wasn’t designed to take the spotlight from other, higher profile matches on the card, it did. The chemistry was incredible and the two performers put on a clinic in how to get a crowd pumped up for the rest of the action they will be seeing.
  3. Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker WWF World Title Match – This was the main event, and it certainly had a big-fight feel to it, but the action felt a little underwhelming in comparison to the first two matches I mentioned.
  4. X-Pac vs. Double J Hair vs. Hair Match – Both of these men have been excellent performers since they first got in the business, and with several years to perfect their craft under their belts, they came out and gave an electrifying performance filled with great back and forth action.
  5. Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart Lion’s Den Match – In what was a brutal mix of pro wrestling and UFC, the Lion’s Den match was pretty great seeing Owen and Shamrock going hold for hold and shot for shot.

My Five Favorite Performances From SummerSlam ’98

  1. Owen Hart – getting to see a true master of his craft lead a less experienced opponent through a cool match concept was a treat.
  2. Mankind – From his interview at the beginning of the show bemoaning his destroyed hearse, to his promo with Vince McMahon later on, the the performance he gave taking a beating from the New Age Outlaws, Mankind turned in a fine night.
  3. Val Venis – Val was still a relative newcomer, but he had his gimmick down to a science, and he and D-Lo pulled out a heck of a match to open the show.
  4. X-Pac – Like I said earlier, X-Pac had been perfecting his craft for years up to this point, and he put his many talents on display in his match on this show. Even watching it twenty-fours years after it happened, it still felt fresher than anything I’ve seen in modern wrestling in a long time.
  5. Mark Henry – in the early stages of his “sexual chocolate” gimmick, watching him try to put the moves on Chyna was just flat out entertaining.

My Five Favorite Spots of the Night

  1. The Undertaker driving Austin through a table on the floor by deliverying a leg drop frm the top rope of the ring.
  2. The Rock giving an early People’s Elbow to Triple H while Triple H was on a ladder.
  3. Triple H attempting a move from the top of the ladder only to be caught with a Rock Bottom.
  4. Edge’s dive over the top rope onto Marc Mero on the floor.
  5. Jeff Jarret using an atomic drop to crotch X-Pac on the post on the floor.

The Ten Most 1998 Things About SummerSlam ’98

  • The Rock’s sideburns.
  • The Insane Clown Posse being involved.
  • Val Venis and his aggressive porn star gimmick.
  • X-Pac using the terms “biotch” and “suck it” during his pre-match promo.
  • The mass of Austin 3:16 and DX shirts in the crowd.
  • The quote, “My name’s not Elmo, but you can tickle me any time”.
  • Both of the New Age Outlaws wearing Southpark shirts in their match.
  • Jim Ross having to apologize for saying “son of a bitch” on the air.
  • The announcers talking about the home run race between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa. FYI, McGwire led on this date 55-54.
  • Jim Dotson and his hat.

Other Thoughts I Had While Watching SummerSlam ’98

  • D-Lo claiming to be from a different home town in Europe every week while European Champion was a great touch.
  • The referee in the opening bout was one tough son of a gun for taking Val Venis’ moneyshot finisher.
  • I could have done without seeing Kurrgan dancing.
  • The Godwins going from hillbillys to Dixie Mafia-esque tough guys called Southern Justice was one of the better make overs of the year.
  • The fiery gates of hell entrance way was a great setup.
  • The New York City buses being wrapped with ads for this SummerSlam in the week leading up to the show was great.
  • The hair clippers for the hair vs. hair match didn’t work. I don’t believe the clippers have ever worked in any hair vs. hair match ever.
  • Howard Finkle doing the crotch chop was not needed.
  • Seeing Edge make his pay-per-view debut and realizing he is main eventing shows today is surreal.
  • The “Marvelous” Marc Mero gimmick wouldn’t get over in today’s world.
  • Jackie was so far ahead of her time as a female wrestler.
  • The Lion’s Den match concept needs to be brought back. Maybe bill it as “Pit Fighting”.
  • The greatness of Owen Hart was not fully appreciated by the masses until it was too late. We lost him just nine months after this show.
  • Ken Shamrock being billed as a former “UFC Superfight” champion feels so out of place in today’s world.
  • I wonder how they Kane in that dumpster?
  • The ladder match made both The Rock and Triple H bonafied wrestling superstars for good from that point on.
  • Steve Austin and The Undertaker didn’t have great chemistry in their first high-profile match together. That would change.

So that’s it. I re-watched SummerSlam ’98 and thoroughly enjoyed it. You should go check it out on Peacock if you’re a fan of old school wrestling. Now I just have to decide what my next old school wrestling rewatch should be.

Weekend Reading 07/03/22

Every weekend, I like to share a curated list of retro & nostalgia-themed articles, stories, and posts that I’ve come across in the last week. It gives you a chance to escape the daily grind, and just sit back and pass the time reading about the good old days. So with that in mind, here are some things I wanted to share with you this week.

Be sure to check out the Retro Streaming Guide for July if you haven’t done so already. There are plenty of fun retro movies coming to streaming this month.

Beavis & Butt-Head Trading Cards (1994)

With Beavis & Butt-Head back in the news pretty heavily these days with the release of their new movie, Beavis & Butt-Head Do the Universe, it seems like a great time to share this video I made for The Retro Network opening a pack of their trading cards from 1994. I hope you enjoy the little trip down memory lane watching me open the pack and seeing what I found inside.